In 2019, we did some major renovation involving architects, real contractors, etc., and we built a new kitchen. With the end in sight, we started to think more about the lowly structure a short walk from the house. Work started - much to the dismay of the chickens living in the basement of the building - and six months (ish) later, I had a space I could work in. After some finishing touches, I could set about making it my creative sanctuary.

The pandemic gave me what seemed like unlimited time and, more importantly, permission to explore musical avenues I had always felt guilty about pursuing. Over the next few years, I worked on putting together a solo musical performance. I also wrote and recorded music, worked on magic, edited and printed photographs, and hung out with friends. The Barn started to reveal itself as less of a “studio” in the traditional sense and more of a space for gathering.

When I decided to pause my public efforts in magic performance and photography, and focus solely on music, the idea of The Barn becoming a venue of sorts started to become more of a reality. I moved out everything that wasn’t directly related to music. I made a stage area with a piano, drum kit, sound system, lights, and rugs. A year ago, I told a few people I planned to host performances there, and wanted to invite friends and neighbours, as a way of bringing our community together through shared experiences.

Earlier this month, it finally happened:

The Barn Sessions lives.

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The Barn Sessions No. 2 August 28th 2026

Audio Only

I have always found it difficult to finish work. When I was young, I don’t think I ever really worked on a school project sooner than the night before. I only seemed to work well under pressure. Of course, I wasn’t exactly producing optimal work. Sure, my grades were “fine”, but I always wished I’d started working earlier and swore that next time would be different. And it never was. It’s a thing I’ve done for as long as I can remember, and I’m not sure why.

In my early twenties I was also chronically late for things. I hated myself for it, but I just couldn’t leave the house for fear that I had forgotten something. It was bad socially and professionally but in all those years I never figured it out. I had friends who always got to places early and I thought they were fools, but I think deep down I was jealous of that superpower.

Things have improved in the last few years, and I am now one of those people who gets to a place early. I’m more organized, which helps me to plan and work on all sorts of projects without resorting to last minute panic. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this all coincided with having a couple of kids and starting therapy.

There’s nothing like keeping tiny humans alive that shows you how easy you used to have it. So I make the most of the time I get to myself. But this is only possible if I’ve planned what I want to get done in that time. This is where my notebook (I use a Bullet Journal, but any list / note taking method will work) is invaluable. I can see at a glance all the things I want to get done, be it clean out the chicken coop, or work on my album, and plan accordingly. At the end of the day, I can clearly see how I’ve spent my time, which stops the dreaded feeling that I haven’t achieved anything.

Even before I started therapy two and a half years ago, I had discovered that the main cause for my anxiety was keeping all my thoughts in my head - curious for someone who claims to read minds at parties. As soon as I started writing my thoughts down, clearing my working memory, I started to feel and function better. Through therapy, I have been able to address and make sense of many of the other things going on in my head, which has allowed me to be more focused.

As mentioned in previous posts, curbing my social media addiction has also made my life so much better. There was a time where I wouldn’t be able to concentrate enough to read a book or even a short article without being drawn to my phone to check Instagram. Congratulations if you made it this far without surrendering to your own dopamine siren.

As a thank you here is a couple of minutes from the studio last week:

I’m looping layers of synths (Novation Peak, Respiro and Model D) using the NuRad electric wind controller, and trying to find good combination of sounds.

Recently I’ve been thinking about the seeming connection between my love of improvisation (mainly in, but not limited to, music) and my historic last-minute panics. To those uninitiated in improvisation, it actually requires a LOT of preparation. In order to improvise in music, you need to have certain tools, a musical vocabulary, expertise on an instrument etc, otherwise you’re quickly going to exhaust your well of creativity. To give you a non-musical example, we improvise every day when we converse with others. A good conversation involves two or more parties listening and responding. This wouldn’t be possible without at least a basic knowledge of the language and the ability to articulate ideas. I’ll likely explore these ideas here in more detail in the future.

I’ve spent the last thirty odd years learning music and every time I go out to perform I’m relying on that knowledge and experience. The last couple of years I have been playing totally improvised shows. Sure I’m prepared, but everything is decided in the moment. It’s a great feeling, and always a thrill.

I’ve been doing some soul searching recently in terms of artistic identity. I’ve known for a long time that my multi-hyphenate professional persona was preventing me from getting shit done. Turning these once enjoyable hobbies of mine into work had sapped some of the joy out of them and led me to focus on the wrong things - namely how to organize my website to showcase these things - instead of actually making things.

Going forward I’m getting back to where it all began for me - I am a musician.

That isn’t to say I’m not also a magician and a photographer. But I’m not going to be advertising those as services any more. I’ll still perform magic for a paying audience again, and sell prints - but those things are no longer at the forefront of my mind. I will continue to enjoy them and remain a dedicated student.

And boy does that feel good to put into words.

For the longest time I’ve been unable to enjoy ANYTHING as a hobby. I quickly want to find out as much as I can about a subject, which leads to a desire to pursue it professionally AND be the best I can at it, “otherwise what’s the point?”

Whether it was coding websites or videography to name just a couple, these things all took me away from what I knew in my heart was my true calling. Not to say there’s anything wrong with continuously learning - I happen to believe we should remain curious until the end, but curiosity can kill the proverbial cat and be a form of procrastination.

With all that in mind - I have streamlined my website to reflect this renewed focus on music, and I am committing to you all that new and exciting things are being created for your listening pleasure.

This newsletter / blog is my way of sharing all of the bits and bobs I’m working on and will be where I announce the release of new music first.

To kick things off, here are six improvised pieces I recorded last week using piano and a couple of effects. I recorded for these in around thirty minutes without any preconceived ideas - I like to do this daily before I start any kind of “serious” work. It’s my equivalent of “morning pages” for those of you who journal. I put these recordings on my YouTube channel in a playlist called “Dear Diary.”

Yes, you can hear the rain hitting the roof and windows of my studio.

Not everything I share will have a kaleidoscopic video, sigh, but I’m also constantly experimenting with and designing sounds to use as I gear up to gathering material for an album. As a way of me keeping those sounds organized, I’ll be adding any sounds I find interesting to this Soundcloud playlist.

So until next time, thanks for choosing to be here, watch this space, and please share this post with someone you think may be interested in my music.