Last Minute Woes, Preparing to Improvise & Upcoming Live Show
Some words on leaving things to the last minute.
But first…
You can bid on a print of this photograph in the Her Justice Photography Auction happening TODAY! An incredible organization - please check them out.
I have always found it difficult to finish work. When I was young, I don’t think I ever really worked on a school project sooner than the night before. I only seemed to work well under pressure. Of course, I wasn’t exactly producing optimal work. Sure, my grades were “fine”, but I always wished I’d started working earlier and swore that next time would be different. And it never was. It’s a thing I’ve done for as long as I can remember, and I’m not sure why.
In my early twenties I was also chronically late for things. I hated myself for it, but I just couldn’t leave the house for fear that I had forgotten something. It was bad socially and professionally but in all those years I never figured it out. I had friends who always got to places early and I thought they were fools, but I think deep down I was jealous of that superpower.
Things have improved in the last few years, and I am now one of those people who gets to a place early. I’m more organized, which helps me to plan and work on all sorts of projects without resorting to last minute panic. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this all coincided with having a couple of kids and starting therapy.
There’s nothing like keeping tiny humans alive that shows you how easy you used to have it. So I make the most of the time I get to myself. But this is only possible if I’ve planned what I want to get done in that time. This is where my notebook (I use a Bullet Journal, but any list / note taking method will work) is invaluable. I can see at a glance all the things I want to get done, be it clean out the chicken coop, or work on my album, and plan accordingly. At the end of the day, I can clearly see how I’ve spent my time, which stops the dreaded feeling that I haven’t achieved anything.
Even before I started therapy two and a half years ago, I had discovered that the main cause for my anxiety was keeping all my thoughts in my head - curious for someone who claims to read minds at parties. As soon as I started writing my thoughts down, clearing my working memory, I started to feel and function better. Through therapy, I have been able to address and make sense of many of the other things going on in my head, which has allowed me to be more focused.
As mentioned in previous posts, curbing my social media addiction has also made my life so much better. There was a time where I wouldn’t be able to concentrate enough to read a book or even a short article without being drawn to my phone to check Instagram. Congratulations if you made it this far without surrendering to your own dopamine siren.
As a thank you here is a couple of minutes from the studio last week:
I’m looping layers of synths (Novation Peak, Respiro and Model D) using the NuRad electric wind controller, and trying to find good combination of sounds.
Recently I’ve been thinking about the seeming connection between my love of improvisation (mainly in, but not limited to, music) and my historic last-minute panics. To those uninitiated in improvisation, it actually requires a LOT of preparation. In order to improvise in music, you need to have certain tools, a musical vocabulary, expertise on an instrument etc, otherwise you’re quickly going to exhaust your well of creativity. To give you a non-musical example, we improvise every day when we converse with others. A good conversation involves two or more parties listening and responding. This wouldn’t be possible without at least a basic knowledge of the language and the ability to articulate ideas. I’ll likely explore these ideas here in more detail in the future.
I’ve spent the last thirty odd years learning music and every time I go out to perform I’m relying on that knowledge and experience. The last couple of years I have been playing totally improvised shows. Sure I’m prepared, but everything is decided in the moment. It’s a great feeling, and always a thrill.
One such show is coming up soon with my pal Bob Frye at Tompkins Corners Cultural Center. Bob is a neighbour of mine, and we’ve been playing together for a year. We both have similar musical backgrounds and we get together at least once a week to play. Hope to see you there!
